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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

i i i i i'm not your stepping stone...
2002-10-31, 4:45 a.m.

i guess i'm one of many. depressed angst-filled listless girls who write too much are a dime a dozen these days. what happened? did society do this to us? i'm not sure anymore, and neither is anyone else.

i am a whiter shade of pale.

i know i could be, i know i want more than this, but how do i get there? and how do i stop hurting people to get what i want and need? i hurt way too many, and i don't help enough; or maybe i give more than i should, and when i need to stop giving people become greedy. maybe everyone is lazy and dependant...

i'm so beyond sorry - you know who you are, C. i guess i don't know how to give enough and take when i need to, and i hurt you, and that kills me. i don't know what i need to do, and i don't know where or who i am right now. i'm not what you need. i don't know how to tell you that. it wears me out trying to juggle being what i want to be and what you need me to be. i'm worn out, and i'm sorry. this is all so hard right now. and if i could be who you wanted all the time...

i'm tired of hurting and not knowing: i'm tired of hurting.

~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~