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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

photo album.
2003-08-25, 10:14 p.m.

current mood: blah and excitement all at the same time. i like to call it confusion. *holding up confusion finger with spiral*

current song: hello by poe

moment of zen: photo album �Lindsay (read: steal this and die.)

i keep a million and one snapshots of you
in a faded photo album
locked safely in the vault of my mind

some with the faded brown-yellow edges of time passed;
some as flashbulbed moments in a dark room;
some as clear as an azure summer sky:
all beautiful.

i view them all, and often, as these bits of my eye's film are some of the most important things in my head.

i have one of your pale lips, and how they looked the split-second before i closed the camera shutter and they met mine for the first time.
one of your delicate hands, and of your beautiful long fingers intertwined with mine.
i keep one near of your pale shoulders and neck spotted brown by the suns of summers past; and one of your kinky hair weaving in delicate tendrils against your forhead, neck, and ears, soaked by the swear of your warmpth mixed with my own.

my favourite is of your blue-grey eyes and how they smile.
hello, hello, are you out there?

this is the excited part.

being kidnapped tomorrow, back to that place that i fear and loathe more than anything: ohio. at least i'll get to see all my friends and family and junk. good times.

i'm waiting for the day when i can finally cash in my free plane tickets from my job and jetset to louisville and nashville and chattanooga, and visit all my friends down there.

this is the blah part.

i noticed that i bitch about missing people an awful lot. i wonder why it is that i miss them all so much, but i never write to them or anything? it's certainly strange, indeed.

i was digging through some old pictures today. i found the pictures that jhesi took of me for her photography class, and the picture i took of the mailboxes, up close. i found the pictures of all my old friends. i found the postcard that my mom sent to her parents while she was in paris, my all ohio state fair band id tag, some old stickers i kept because i liked them; i found the church handouts from wes's funeral. it was then that i realized that out of all the pictures i have, i don't have any of my family. i don't have any of the samurai, i don't have carr or aerin or even wattsmander. almost all the people that i really hung out with for the last year, i don't have pictures of. it's kind of strange to me; it's not that i don't care for any of the people that i have pictures of, it's just that the people i've really grown to care about i don't have photos of. strange.

although, there aren't many people out there who have pictures of me, either. i hate having my photo taken, for some reason. it's partly because i think i look simply awful in every one, and partly because i just don't like the photos that people usually take; they tell me to smile or be goofy or something, and i'm not like that. i want photos of me to be true to life, but people don't see it that way. no one wants a dark picture of a sullen black-haired girl who's overweight, depressed, and has broken glasses. i don't know.

i'm sure everyone is tired of hearing the same old things from me. i'll stop for the night. cut and print.

~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~

~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~ entries from 2003 ~*~ entries from 2004 ~*~ entries from 2005 ~*~ entries from 2006 ~*~ entries from 2007 ~*~ entries from 2008 ~*~ entries from 2009 ~*~


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