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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

new year's day.
2006-01-01, 2:38 a.m.

current mood: quiet.

current song: new year's day by u2. how appropriate.

all is quiet on new year's day
a world in white gets underway
and i want to be with you
be with you night and day
nothing changes on new year's day
i will be with you again
i will be with you again

under a blood-red sky
a crowd has gathered in black and white
arms entwined the chosen few
newspapers say it says it's true
and we can break through
though torn in two we can be one
i will begin again i will begin again
oh and maybe the time is right
oh maybe tonight
i will be with you again
i will be with you again

and so we are told this is the golden age
and gold is the reason for the wars we wage
though i want to be with you
to be with you night and day
nothing changes on new year's day

lindsay is a good girl and it feels great to be a liar. i got out of all the things i didn't want to do tonight, and got to do 2/3 of the things that i wanted to do. i consoled the friends who needed consoling, and i laughed with the friends who wanted to laugh.

and there is still this misty hole, somewhere inside that needs to be filled. filled with what? i don't know. i never do. so i shall play all the parts i need to play, and i will say all the things i need to say, and when i'm done i'll go to bed and pray to whomever it is that needs to be prayed to and beg that this stop. things are getting strange again - and not in the fun fear and loathing sort of strange, but the eerie strange - the calm before the storm, so to speak. it's that pit in the bottom of your stomache just before something bad happens as you're watching it; seeing the guy walk across the street and hearing the squeal of tires on wet pavement.

enough of that. yesterday i had my first real honest-to-god trauma. some 54yo f wanted to see what the pavement looked like up close and so she tripped and smashed her face in. best part - she's totally on blood thinners because she's got a history of clots. so i've got a hand full of 4x4s on this poor woman's (probably) broken nose, and the other hand on the radio on a med chanel to toledo. i give my first report to the hospital (beautifully, i might add - i learned from some of the best) and ask if there are any questions. it went something like this.

me: any questions or orders? eta 5 minutes.

toledo hospital: so wait, what's the m.o.i.? (mechanism of injury)

me: she fell face first onto concrete.

toledo hospital: is she hurt?

i am at this point holding back the urge to say "no, she's just got a lot of money and really wants to pay for an ambulance ride and a hospital stay" and then add something like "you dizzy bitch" but i don't, i repeat everything i just said. we then pull in the hospital and get her into the e.r. and no one knows why we're there or where this poor woman is going. i felt so bad for my patient.

so, that's my incompetence story for the day. don't get me started on dispatch or unit 17. i've only been with the company for two weeks and i can already tell you stories. it's coffee time, bitches.

~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~

~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~ entries from 2003 ~*~ entries from 2004 ~*~ entries from 2005 ~*~ entries from 2006 ~*~ entries from 2007 ~*~ entries from 2008 ~*~ entries from 2009 ~*~


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