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midnight wondering. current album: set yourself on fire by the stars. current song: what i'm trying to say all i can do is revel in this warm night, and stare into the clear sky. i can actually see some of the stars here - nothing compared to my childhood home in the country when in the deepest reaches of night the vast purple arm of the milky way was visible to the naked eyes; a ribbon of imperial violet sprinkled with brilliant white cutting the deepest of blue-black in half. the moon and her watchful eye seemed almost to guide the way for the dancing of stars across the inky sky, her rays creeping downward and touching my childish face as i wondered how big everything actually was. i miss my father waking me up in the early morning to watch the meteor showers and lunar eclipses, his telescope already on the back porch. i miss the sound of distant trains carried on the cool breeze, tickling my ears. and here i sit; older and wiser and still as young as ever, still wishing on stars as they pass by my window. here i am, stretching my arms as far as i can to the sky, trying to catch the moon. here i am, still a little girl. and all around me the city sleeps, tired fingers clutching dirty sheets, oblivious to the beauty happening all around them. i see it, does anyone else? here i am, beautifully sad and happy and nostalgic and a tiny piece of a giant machine that seems to function on an invisible force connecting everything. a billion tiny points all strung together into one ineffably large tapestry. here we all are, looking for the invisible strings that bind us all together with all things. here we all are, staring into the sky, wondering who and what we are, where we are going, and what we are doing. and there is the world; she is waiting for all of us, beckoning with open arms, waiting to be discovered. where will i go? what will i do? i ask these questions not with frustration or sadness, but with wild-eyed wonder. the same wonder i asked these questions with as a child. i am ready to go out into the great wide open and learn. i am ready. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
