|
sleep is a cruel bitch. current song: love song covered by 8 bit w0nder. that makes 4 versions of that fantastic song, including the original. i still like the 311 cover the best. and my dreams are haunted by shadows. always. i haven't drempt in colour in months, maybe even a year. i don't know what that means, but it bothers me. i take that back. i did dream in colour, but it was here. i dare say that toledo is killing me and my dreams. and here i am, once again, in this chair, talking to a white box with words inside, smoking cigarettes. here i am, barefoot and tired and cold. i want to get in the car and drive until i run out of gas. i want to leave everything here behind and start over again. it's so easy to do - pack everything that will fit and take off into the sunrise or sunset and follow the highway until there is no more pavement. drive out to the ocean, or the forrest, or the valley. drive until i can't possibly stay awake, and sleep in the car. i miss those care-free days of youth, when all i had to do was go somewhere else. and now i am trapped. i have trapped myself. i got a husband, and a job, and a car payment, and rent, and bills, and so on and so forth. it almost feels like in this "growing up" stuff i've lost what's most important to me - my freedom. and now, i'm right where the man wants me to be; knee deep in debt, dependant on borrowed money on borrowed time. i'm going off on the conspiracy stuff again. i'm going to go lay down, and wait for the vicodin to kick in. just wait for my face to go numb. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
