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i hate endings. if this is one. current song: sorry by madonna je suis d�sol� lo siento ik ben droevig sono spiacente perd�name i've heard it all before i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say you're sorry i've heard it all before and i can take care of myself i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say forgive me i've heard it all before and i can't take it anymore you're not half the man you think you are save your words because you've gone too far i've listened to your lies and all your stories listen to your stories you're not half the man you'd like to be i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say you're sorry i've heard it all before and i can take care of myself i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say forgive me i've seen it all before and i can't take it anymore don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap there's more important things than hearing you speak mistake me because i made it so convenient don't explain yourself you'll never see forgive me sorry sorry sorry i've heard it all before i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say you're sorry i've heard it all before and i can take care of myself i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say forgive me i've seen it all before and i can't take it anymore i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say you're sorry don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap i've heard it all before and i can take care of myself there's more important things than hearing you speak i don't wanna hear i don't wanna know please don't say forgive me i've heard it all before but i'm not leaving. i said forever, and i fucking meant it, whether you believe me or not. you can accuse me and yell at me and ignore me and whatever it is you want to do, but i'm still here. this is not a chapter in my life that i ever want to close. i wouldn't have fucking taken vows if i hadn't meant them. i have no idea if you meant them at this point. i have wandering eyes. you know that. but there is no basis in reality for any of your claims. and your jealousy is making me want to act out even more. this boy, this boy that i like is not in my circle of friends. he is no where near me. i barely know him, and i don't even hang out with him. my mere visual infatuation is nothing. it's nothing. and though i may have comitted adultry in my head a billion times over, i'm willing to bet that you've done the same thing with many, many other women. fine, i don't care. i'm not a jealous woman. i have no right to be. and i will sit here, while you are away. i will smoke this whole pack of cigarettes and talk to my friends online and wait for the opiates to take control of my mind and motor function. and tomorrow, i will get up and go to work, as will you. and we will talk about this when i get home. if you're here. it's time, jeremy, and you know it. i don't want to lose this, and i don't want to lose you. i can't let my world fall apart again. i can't sit back and watch you destroy yourself with your own pride and ignorance. and i won't let you, because that's who i am. i will help you, and i will fall apart. and you will never see it. you will never know that i am dying, until it is too late. i'm a great actress. you know it. so, will you help me? will you listen, or will you interrupt? will you ignore me? do i have to let go? why must this be the end? is this the end? or are we just fighting about nothing in your eyes...am i being rash again? tell me; tell me what you want me to be. tell me who i should be for you. test my dedication, i dare you. but don't apologize in lieu of explanation. and don't sidestep the questions. just talk to me, you know you can. but tomorrow, when i'm calm. tomorrow, when things will be better. i'm a 20th century girl with my hands on the rails, trying not to get sick again, holding on for tomorrow. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
