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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

fly, fly away...
2006-04-02, 5:46 a.m.

current mood: frustrated, in many, many ways.

current song: one day i'll fly away from the moulin rouge ost.

i follow the night
can't stand the light
when will i begin
to live again

one day i'll fly away
leave all this to yesterday
what more could your love do for me
when will love be through with me
why live life from dream to dream
and dread the day
when dreaming ends

one day i'll fly away
fly fly away

it seems that once again, if only i'd stop running, i could fix everything. however, my legs don't know when to quit. i'm scared of it all, scared to hurt people. scared of making people upset. scared of things not working out. i'm scared of people knowing the things i think and the way i feel.

but i'm so tired. i'm so tired of running and hiding and setting up camp somewhere new and ruining more lives. i'm tired of the wake of distruction i leave behind. i'm tired of allowing myself to be treated like shit by a man who probably doesn't love me anymore for the sake of honour and tradition and a false pretense of happiness. and i'm tired of pining away for a man who is way too good for me who could probably never love me. i'm a mess that no one should have to clean up but myself.

and god, i think that i've fallen face first into the dirt for this stupid boy. and i've got to tell him, i've got to say something. i can't live like this anymore. it's so rediculous. i feel rediculous.

but now, it's time for me to sleep on it, like i always do. or, i'll at least try to sleep on it.

~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~

~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~ entries from 2003 ~*~ entries from 2004 ~*~ entries from 2005 ~*~ entries from 2006 ~*~ entries from 2007 ~*~ entries from 2008 ~*~ entries from 2009 ~*~


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