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get off your ass! current song: wise up by aimee mann. this song will be the death of me. it's not what you thought when you first began it you got what you want now you can hardly stand it though by now you know it's not going to stop until you wise up you're sure there's a cure and you have finally found it you think one drink will shrink you 'til you're underground and living down but it's not going to stop until you wise up prepare a list of what you need before you sign away the deed because it's not going to stop until you wise up no it's not going to stop so just give up i'm not depressed. i'm unhappy, but that's to be expected, i suppose. but i've found that god damn ray of sunshine that's ruining the rain on my parade, and i've got no reason to be absolutely miserable for once. i'm teetering on this fence of bittersweet, and for some reason that's kind of comforting. as much as i like to pretend that i enjoy wallowing in emo sadness, i really don't. and i think i'm gonna go find that little slice of happy that everyone else is talking about. the prospect of taking care of myself instead of everyone else for once is mildly frightening, but i've got to do it sometime. dealing with everyone elses' shit is easy. dealing with my own is hard. and, yes, i know, things aren't supposed to be easy. i never said that it should be. i've just let things escalate to a point where...well, it's like when you don't clean for a very long time, and then you have to clean the house the task seems neigh insurmountable. i've let things pile up for a little too long. but i've still got a stupid fucking grin on my face, and it won't go away. i don't think that anything could ruin my mood at this point. i may be a very long ways from where and who i want to be, but i have a feeling i'll get there. and i have a feeling that i can do it on my own for once. i just have to get off my ass. all this usless shit that i've been pack-rating over the years has got to go. i'm tired of hauling it around. accepting that wasn't the hardest part - getting myself to lose it will be. and even though i've got this song on repeat, i'm not bawling like a four-year-old whose puppy got kicked. it's not nearly as sad once i direct it at someone else. i'm rambling now. it's bedtime. i've got to go to work tomorrow. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
