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~*~
the here and now. ~*~
the done and gone. ~*~
who am i? ~*~
find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~
what they've said about me. ~*~
feel left out? ~*~
get pretty. ~*~
nothing to say.
2006-09-05, 1:54 a.m.
current mood: getting tired enough to go to bed, finally.
current song: ophelia by ambulance ltd.
there's still life in the heart
you're coming down
i'm going with you
it's easier in the soft light of the shimmering
shining windows
and babe i'd like you to meet someone
when you meet her please be serious
she thinks it doesn't matter
if you're familiar with her sisters
and her disease
i hate the one thing i need
i just don't trust you now baby
all over the leaves on the ground
i walk around
i'm late for hundreds of things
the walls are thin but i can't reach through them
i'm chasing dragons down the streets
my eyes are feeble and filled with poison
and babe i'm just like the best thing
that could happen
happen to someone
now i'm seething from the inside
plastered to the outside
reaching to your side under the sheets
i hate the one thing i need
i just don't trust you now baby
all over the streets on the town
i walk around
in the odd time
any old time
ophelia
let your life be shallow
ophelia
let your life be hard
i hate it when i have the urge to write, but yet when i sit down and put my fingers on the keys i can think of nothing to say. i know that the minute i lay down and try to sleep, i'll feel like i have unfinished business and i'll think of about 400 things i could have written about had i just sat here long enough to think about them. the objective; trying to sleep, obfuscated by my rediculous mind churning out bits of garbled nonsense. and i will awake tomorrow, miserable from lack of sleep, and i will of course run my ass off because i 1) didn't sleep, and 2) it's the day after a holiday and all the dialysis centers and wound care offices were closed over the weekend, plus all the people who are going on their regularly scheduled day. personally, if i had to go get my ass looked at twice a week because there's a hole in it where there shouldn't be, or if i had to spend 3 days a week, 5 hours a day in a room getting my blood cycled through a machine, i'd have pulled the fucking plug on myself. but that's me.
instead i waste my time on another machine, putting my fingers on little buttons to express my absurd thoughts for the world to see. i wouldn't die if you took the computer away, but i would resort to more primitive means. i think that if i didn't write i would die. the madness in my head would fill up and overrun and explode from my ears and eyes and nose and mouth. if it keeps on raining, the levee's gonna break.
well, kids, it's 0230. and i've got to sleep, lest my good mood be ruined before tomorrow even starts.
~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~
~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~
entries from 2003 ~*~
entries from 2004 ~*~
entries from 2005 ~*~
entries from 2006 ~*~
entries from 2007 ~*~
entries from 2008 ~*~
entries from 2009 ~*~
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