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another suitcase in another hall. current song: the lotus eaters by dead can dance. i've never minded moving, in fact i like it a lot. there's nothing more refreshing than starting over. i love blank slates and new beginings and all that cliche bullshit. i must admit, though, that there is something underlyingly depressing and final about this. this man; this man that i pledged my life to and swore i would never leave, i am leaving. and i am...relieved is a good word, but not quite right... i really don't know how to put it into words because it's an intangible murmur in the back of my brain that i guess i'm interpreting as sadness. maybe disapointment, also. it's very strange. i did a lot of things i had to do in the last couple days: i stopped the direct deposit into his account, finally; i took him off of my health insurance; i changed my address at work; i've packed and packed and packed ad nauseum; and i just got done applying for a credit card and i got my credit report. it turns out that there's still a credit card out there from my mother's free ride shopping spree that's fucking everything up. thanks mom. love you. one thing i still haven't done: acutally move anything i own into that apartment. we played the "who gets what" game today, which wasn't really hard considering i don't technically own much. i think i'm going to let him keep the deposit from this apartment and take the bookshelf and the entertainment center and some things of that nature. i have to find some strong men and a truck. so what happens now? another suitcase in another hall. so what happens now? take your picture of another war. where am i going to? you'll get by; you always have before. where am i going to? don't ask anymore. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
