one fucking thing after another.
2008-02-05, 5:05 p.m.
current mood: tired, and i think i'm getting sick again...
current song: dashboard by modest mouse. you'll see why when you read the words, if you don't know the song already, dear.
well it would've been could've been worse than you would ever know
oh the dashboard melted but we still have the radio
oh, it should've been, could've been worse than you would ever know
well you told me about nowhere well it sounds like someplace i'd like to go
oh it could've been, should've been worse than you would ever know
well the windshield was broken but I love the fresh air you know
(the dashboard melted but we still have the radio)
oh it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know
(the dashboard melted but we still have the radio)
oh we talked about nothing which was more than i wanted you to know
now here we go
oh it would've been, could've been worse than it had even gone
well the car was on blocks but i was already where i want
(it was impossible we ran it good we ran it good)
why should we ever even ever really even get to know
(it was impossible we ran it good we ran it good)
oh if the world don't like us it'll shake us just like we were a cold
now here we go
well we scheme and we scheme but we always blow it
we've yet to crash but we still might as well enjoy it
standing at a light switch to each east and west horizon
every dawn you're surprising
and the evening was consoling saying see
it wasn't quite as bad as
well it would've been could've been worse than you would ever know
i was patiently erasing and recording the wrong episodes
after you had proved my point wrong it wasn't like 'd let it go
i just wanted to catch the last laugh of this show
yeah it would've been could've been worse than you would ever know
oh the dashboard melted but we still have the radio
(the dashboard melted but we ran it good we ran it good)
hard-wired to conceive so much we'd have to stow it
even needs have needs tiny giants made of tinier giants
don't wear eyelids so i don't miss the last laugh of this show
(the dashboard melted but we still have the radio)
oh we could've been should've been worse than you would ever know
(the dashboard melted but we still have the radio)
well you told me about nowhere well it sounds like someplace i'd like to go
now here we go
well we scheme and we scheme but we always blow it
we've yet to crash but we still might as well enjoy it
standing at a light switch to each east and west horizon
every dawn you're surprising
and the evening was consoling
saying see it wasn't quite as bad as
oh it would've been could've been worse than you would ever know
The Great Detroit Debacle of Aught-Eight
so on sunday i went up to detroit for a fantastic anti-super bowl shindig, at ramenatoror's place. i parked in my usual spot; in the parking lot adjacent to her complex, which is really the parking lot of a pizza joint. there was fun and a movie and delicious sushi and a whole bunch of wonderfulness - but i'm a lady and i won't go into details here...lol...
at this point it is now 0130, and i have to go, because i have to work at 0900. she walked me down to the parking lot to say goodbye. good thing she did.
my car was gone when we got there.
i proceeded to lose my goddamn mind. she, however, walked calmly to the side of the building, found the number for the towing company whom had probably taken it, and called them. and they had, and i stopped completely flipping out.
we then began a trek to the nearest atm, because at this point i had 0 dollars. she insisted that she buy anyway, since she had told me to park there and it was "her fault" (though i still don't agree with that and i WILL be paying her back). all of the ones we came across were closed until we got to campus, which was about 8 blocks away. she got some money, and then we went back to her place to figure out exactly how far of a walk it was going to be to the tow yard.
we google it, and find it about 4 miles away. she starts getting nervous and looking for a bus that can take us, but most of the bus lines have stopped running because it's now 0220. as she goes into the bathroom to pee i say fuck it, and i look up cab service numbers. most of them are busy. we finally get through to one cab company, and they tell us there's one on the way, and we wait in the cold for 30 fucking minutes. when i call them back they say "we're still trying to find you a cab". i get pissed and i will the universe (which i never do, because i usually pay for it later), i call checker, they say there's one coming, and 5 minutes later there's a cab out front.
something like 12 dollars and an hour later, we finally get to the tow yard. the nice taxi driver offers to wait if we have to go to the other yard to get my car, so we go in. we find out that my car is in fact here. ramenatoror, the most wonderful girl alive, goes out and pays for the cab. we then hike back to the yard, to get my registration and insurance out of the car.
i'm giddy as i pull my car to the gate, and hand the man the registration and insurance cards, along with my license. it's now something like 0330.
he looks at my license, my registration, and my insurance, and says, "ok, we have a problem."
i am now somewhere between a meltdown and a conniption fit. tears are welling in my eyes as he explains that he "legally can't release the car to anyone but the owner, and my name doesn't match the insurance (the insurance card for some reason has my maiden name on it) and my address on my license doesn't match the address on either other document. i begin telling him the state of my marriage, and what is going on, and i break down as i tell him that i could probably call him but i don't think that he could get up here, especially in less than an hour, and that i have to be to work at 0900.
i think that the poor man sensed that this would be WAY more drama than it was worth. he says fuck it, and releases the car to me after poor ramenatoror pays one hundred and sixty fucking dollars. i hug her harder than i've ever hugged anyone, ever.
we get in my car, and i drive her home. at this point it's almost 0400, and i know that i won't be home until almost 0500, and that's 3 hours of sleep before i have to go to work. we say our goodbyes and goodnights, and i get on my way.
it's snowing and blowing and icy and awful all the way home, but i eat space-time, and i'm home by 0440. i then crash the fuck out. i wake up at 0840, throw clothes on, and run to work, where i have to prop up my eyelids all day, but i make it.
The Great Car Wreck Debacle Of Aught-Eight
i get home, get comfortable, and get online to play some WoW and dick around and relax. then, my little brother comes home, and says, "so i saw one of your ex-husband's friends at the gas station, and he says that jh is in the hospital almost dead after he wrecked his car".
my fucking eyeballs almost pop out of my head, and i call him to make sure that this isn't some sort of mean trick. of course, he answers the phone sounding like shit, tells me yes, he is in the hospital, and gives me the room number. with renewed vigor i throw on some shoes, and i drive to the hospital.
he's got a broken pelvis, broken hip, a ruptured spleen, and they had to put a greenfield filter in him so he doesn't throw a clot and stroke the fuck out. he's got some road rash on his cheek too, but other than that, he looks good. the guard rail went through the driver's side, which would have killed him, but fortunately the seat belt got shredded. they think that he was ejected through the passenger side. they found him like 50 feet away, or something like that.
this, apparently, happened friday. and i was pretty much the last to know.
i get it. i understand. i have no place in his life anymore. i don't want to, especially since he's made it quite clear that he doesn't want me around anymore. hear that? you guys win.
but i still have a fucking right to know. and i still care about him, whether you people think i do or not. and that's what pisses me off - that no one fucking manned up and called me - i know that you don't want to talk to me, and i don't want to talk to any of you especially, either, but last i checked, we're all adults. or, at least, we're supposed to be. i had to hear from my little brother, who saw someone at a gas station, who at least did the courtesy of telling him.
don't worry, i've already called the rest of the people that you forgot that still care about him.
i guess you all think that i'm a heartless bitch. well, you're mostly right. but leaving him was better for him, and you all know it because i was just going to continue ruining his life. no, i am not making myself out to be the martyr, so stop that shit immediately - i know that i fucked up, and i knew that i was going to continue fucking up because i couldn't lie to myself anymore.
i loved him. i really, truly, honestly did. i still do, in a way. but he and i were completely wrong for each other at this point in our lives. whatever. i'm done explaining things to obviously deaf ears.
~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~
