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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

i've had it with everything...
2008-03-16, 1:24 a.m.

current mood: do that. do exactly that.

current song: house of cards by radiohead. this album hasn't left my player since i got it.

i don't wanna be your friend
i just wanna be your lover
no matter how it ends
no matter how it starts

forget about your house of cards
and i'll do mine

fall off the table
and get swept under
denial denial

the infrastructure will collapse
from carpet spikes
throw your keys in the bowl
kiss your husband good night

forget about your house of cards
and i'll do mine

fall off the table
and get swept under
denial denial

your ears are burning
denial denial
your ears should be burning
denial denial

i really don't think that it can get any worse than it is now. i got fucked out of my job at the bar. the transmission in my car is quickly dying. i don't have any fucking money. i owe the government almost a thousand dollars in taxes this year. my back is killing me because the bwc decided that i didn't need my meds, and i didn't have them for a week. i can't stand people anymore, and it seems that whenever i don't want people around they crawl out of the fucking woodwork. i can't stand ohio anymore, but i'm pretty much trapped here until this bwc shit gets worked out. i have no idea what i am going to do with the rest of my life. i haven't been feeling well for at least a week, and now i think i have an infection of some sort. i just can't deal with anything anymore. i don't want to deal with anything anymore.

tomorrow i have to call the honda dealership and figure out whether or not my transmission is covered under warranty, if i still have one. i have call fucking acs healthcare again on monday, as i called them every other day last week, and a different person promised that they would call me back and never did to find out if i'm ever going to get reimbursed for my fucking meds. i need to figure out what i'm going to do about laurie, since she keeps fucking texting me and i never answer... i can't get a loan or a credit card to fix my car, let alone buy another car, thanks to her, and she wants to just jump back into my life again, like everything is just fine. as if texting me twice a day incoherent dribble like "Ya kno Im ur mother it wont change cus u want it 2 I love U" (seriously, all spelling and grammatical errors intact in that one) will change anything and everything that has happened - all the sadness, disappointment, rage, pain, lies, stealing, cheating...coming up on the 25th anniversary of bullshit, courtesy of laurie.

i've pretty much had it with everything. i'm going to bed. maybe, if i want it bad enough, i won't wake up.

~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~

~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~ entries from 2003 ~*~ entries from 2004 ~*~ entries from 2005 ~*~ entries from 2006 ~*~ entries from 2007 ~*~ entries from 2008 ~*~ entries from 2009 ~*~


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