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An open letter to a girl. current song: no music. not now. an open letter to a girl. I am going to tell you now what it is. True happiness cannot be truly derived from the approval of others. True happiness can not be extracted in the transaction of committing a good deed, nor in the form of gratitude extended from someone else. Happiness is not a charity offering. Real, pure, true happiness is what springs from inside you for no reason, other than it is there. The only way to get it is to know who you are, what you want, and where you are going. These are things that one does not automatically know, though they may come easier to some than others. These are things that must be decided upon - and committed to - in the course of one's own lifetime. You seem to forget sometimes that your life is yours and yours alone, as does everyone else. You are not indebted to anyone else on this planet. The only expectations are those you place on yourself. You are not a selfish person to consider yourself more important than anyone else. This is not to say that you cannot help others; quite the contrary, helping others is something quite noble indeed. You cannot, however, help others as some sort of penance in lieu of helping yourself. You cannot undo your own unhappiness by granting happiness to others. What happens when you grant a gift to someone, and they are ungrateful? Do you not feel contempt? And you derive no happiness from that transaction - that great, glorious, altruistic thing that was supposed to make you glow inside like a candle instead blew up into a fire which burns much hotter - the fire of anger. Then, it subsides, and all you can feel is your original unhappiness, and now the disdain and regret for trying to help someone else. I'm sorry that I have to say this all this way, at a quarter to two in the morning, but it was in my head and I had to let it out and I very well couldn't have called you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you must make yourself happy, by becoming comfortable in your own skin - which you are most certainly not. You must decide what is most important to you in this world - however, YOU must be on the top of that list, dear. I am not saying any of this in a mocking tone. I, myself, have not quite learned this trick. But I'm getting there. I'm sorry that I was not what you thought I would be, and I'm sorry that I cannot devote to you the emotion you wished I could. I'm sorry that I am tired and chaotic. And I sincerely hope that you can learn to love yourself, and that one day you can be loved for who you are inside - because I already know that you are beautiful inside. You are beautiful outside, too. But you don't know it, and you'll never accept it until you learn to drop all preconceived notions of who you are supposed to be, and what you're supposed to do. Please, please, please; if you have gotten nothing else from me, take this advice. You deserve it. And you deserve more than me. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
