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goddamn it, no. current song: keep the car running by arcade fire every night my dream's the same same old city with a different name they're not coming to take me away i don�t know why but i know i can�t stay there's a weight that's pressing down late at night you can hear the sound even the noise you make when you sleep can't swim across a river so deep they know my name because i told it to them but they don't know where and they don�t know when it's coming when it's coming there's this fear i keep so deep knew its name since before i could speak Oh they know my name because i told it to them but they don't know where and they don't know when it's coming or when but it's coming keep the car running if some night i don't come home please don't think i've left you alone the same place animals go when they die you can't climb across a mountain so high the same city where i go when i sleep can't swim across a river so deep they know my name because i told it to them but they don't know where and they don't know when it's coming or when is it coming? keep the car running i do not have a biological clock. i will not acknowledge these feelings - feelings unrepentant which will never come to fruition. i'm not good enough. i'm not that kind of girl; one that settles down, one that becomes a mother. because i know what will happen if i become a mother - i will become my mother. so, goddamn it, no. no no no, a thousand times no. i will not think these things. i will not weep silently, lying in someone else's bed, dreaming of a doe-eyed child looking up at me with an adoration reserved for the person it came from. i will fight these stinging, salty, tears that race trails hot and wet down my cheeks and onto my pillow collecting and absorbing into a wet mess beneath my face. i will not do it. not me. not with anyone, not even if i know they're the one because i can smell them days after i haven't seen them. i will not. i cannot. goddamn it...no... ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
