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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

internal renovations.
2009-12-15, 1:42 a.m.

current mood: she's learning...

current song: the horrible muzak at denny's. however, i've had for tomorrow by blur stuck in my head all day.

he's a twentieth century boy
with his hands on the rails
trying not to be sick again
and holding on for tomorrow
london ice cracks on a seamless line
he's hanging on for dear life
so we hold each other tightly
and hold on for tomorrow
singing
la la la la la
holding on for tomorrow


she's a twentieth century girl
with her hands on the wheel
trying not to make him sick again
seeing what she can borrow
london's so nice back in your seamless rhymes
but we're lost on the westway
so we hold each other tightly
and we can wait until tomorrow
singing
la la la la la
holding on for tomorrow

trying not to be sick again
and holding for tomorrow
she's a twentieth century girl
hanging on for dear life
so we hold each other tightly
and hold on for tomorrow
singing
la la la la la
holding on for tomorrow

jim stops and gets out the car
goes to a house in emperor's gate
through the door and to his room
then he puts the tv on
turns it off and makes some tea
says modern life well it's rubbish life
holding on for tomorrow
then Susan comes into the room
she's a naughty girl with a lovely smile
says let's take a drive to primrose hill
it's windy there and the view's so nice
london ice can freeze your toes
like anyone i suppose
i'm holding on for tomorrow

i agree, blur - modern life is, indeed, rubbish, sometimes.

a long time ago, i swallowed the key to my own heart. it was so long ago that i don't even remember when.

it is only when something is lost do we truly recognize its value. it is only when we have ached do we realize the value of comfort.

i've been sleeping the sleep of the dead as of late; hard, unsatisfying, unrefreshing, dreamless sleep. i go to bed restless, i awake cold. the drastic renovation has left me feeling empty, despite the fact that i am a pack-rat of memories. it's always been hard for me to let go of anything, be it physical or mental, because i feel that everything is important, regardless of its necessity.

i want nothing more at this very moment than to feel hands on my waist, and lips against my own. however, i know that it's not time for that, just yet. i am not ready to be my own person, let alone be my own person in tandem with another person. for the first time, not only do i know what i want, but i want it badly enough to spend a vast majority of my waking time working towards it.

and for the first time that i can recall in a long time, i am inspired without someone - i am not inspired by someone. i am inspired by myself; i am inspired by what i've found inside myself.

but lo, what's this? diminutive wings hum sweetly in my ear; o! noble queen! my radiant muse has chosen to appear.

goodnight, my dears.

~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~

~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~ entries from 2003 ~*~ entries from 2004 ~*~ entries from 2005 ~*~ entries from 2006 ~*~ entries from 2007 ~*~ entries from 2008 ~*~ entries from 2009 ~*~


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