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~*~ the here and now. ~*~ the done and gone. ~*~ who am i? ~*~ find more like me ~*~
say something to me. ~*~ what they've said about me. ~*~ feel left out? ~*~ get pretty. ~*~

too much for me to handle.
2003-05-03, 9:16 a.m.

current mood: sad.

current album: my cd of sad songs.

current song: selfless, cold, and composed by ben folds five.

so should i go home?

he smiles, sadly. yeah, she's just not comfortable around you.

that's not my fault.

i know.

so what am i supposed to do? half of me wants to walk in there and tell the bitch to fuck off, and half of me wants to be mature and calmly talk to her to figure out why the hell she hates me.

neither of those is a good idea.

well, then, i need to find the faerie anyway. i'll just get my stuff and go.

thank you for being so mature about all this. i don't know, i guess i'll talk to her.

yeah, well you know me, ms. mature.

yeah, right...

he didn't catch my sarcasm there.

later on...

i don't hate you.

you don't?

no. we just got wrapped up in other things, and you dissapeared from everything from late august to mid-november.

i know. i understand why you did what you did, too. i wasn't around. i just want you to be happy.

i just want you to be happy.

well, i'm glad. now the only person i know of that's mad at me or something is that lame bitch that the wattsmander drags around.


nevermind. you don't know who i'm talking about.

oh, cookie's 21st was a blast.

i wanted to go, but i didn't think anyone wanted me around anymore.

no, really, everyone does want you around. people don't usually just cut off contact from all their friends for no reason.

lol, no, no we don't.

well, i've got to go to bed. night.


so a girl i barely know, and definately don't want anything to do with, hates me for no reason, as far as i can tell. an old friend, who i thought hated me, all of a sudden messages me out of nowhere and wants to talk and says that he doesn't hate me. plus, an ex-boyfriend wants to be friends and says he misses me, and i can't possibly begin to describe how much, how deeply i miss him but we're two completely different people now. ugh, and there's a billion things going on, and i just don't want to be in any of this any more. i want to just...dissapear.


~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~

~*~ entries from 2002 ~*~ entries from 2003 ~*~ entries from 2004 ~*~ entries from 2005 ~*~ entries from 2006 ~*~ entries from 2007 ~*~ entries from 2008 ~*~ entries from 2009 ~*~

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