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the hedgehog's dilemma, part 2. current song: evaporated by ben folds five what i've kept with me and what i've thrown away don't know where the hell i've ended up on this glary, random day were the things i really cared about just left along the way? for being to pent up and proud woke up way too late feeling hung over and old and the sun was shining bright and i walked barefoot down the road started thinking about my old man it seems that all men wanna get into a car and go anywhere here i stand - sad and free i can't cry and i can't see what i've done god...what have i done? don't you know i'm numb, man no, i can't feel a thing at all 'cause it's all smiles and business these days and i'm indifferent to the loss i've faith that there's a soul somewhere who's leading me around i wonder if she knows which way is down... here i stand - sad and free i can't cry and i can't see what i've done god...what have i done? i poured my heart out i poured my heart out it evaporated...see? blind man on a canyon's edge of a panoramic scene or maybe i'm a kite that's flying high and random dangling a string or slumped over in a vacant room head on a stranger's knee i'm sure back home they think i've lost my mind. here i stand - sad and free i can't cry and i can't see what i've done god...what have i done? i seem to thrive when i'm left to my own devices, though i must admit that i do have a certain amount of dependance on people in the world around me. i guess i'm still trying to figure out my function in this world. i know that i'll probably never figure it out, but i'd at least like to try. i guess i've been selfish in my life a lot. i've used quite a few people i didn't care about, and i've hurt the people i did and do care about. there are a lot of song lyrics that sound like me. lately i'm reminded of the lyrics to the package by a perfect circle. it goes like this: clever got me this far then tricky got me in eye on what i'm after i don't need another friend smile and drop the clich� 'til you think i'm listening i take just what i came for then i'm out the door again i'm a hedgehog. i can't help it. getting too close to me will get you pricked by my quills, no matter how much i'd like you to get close to me. it's an unfortunate side effect of who i am, and i suppose there's nothing that i can do to change it. but enough on that. i'm just reliving the pain of hurting everyone i love. so there's a ghost in my kitchen. the nurse and i sat around yesterday and played with the ouija board that used to be my mom's when she was a kid. he wanted to know why i was in his house. i don't know...it was weird. now i keep turning around feeling like there's someone looking at me. i don't like it. i don't know what to do about it either. i guess i'm just rambling to change the subject. i'm out. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
