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something borrowed, something blue... current song: where is my mind? by the pixies one thing is certain: i will never say a bad word about him again. i never said that much about him before, but i may have been unkind at times with my speculation. it happens; you hear so many stories about someone, and you mold your ideas about that person on their reputation. it's not a good thing to do, but it's something uncontrolable about how people think. we sat at the boy for a bit, and then decided to walk outside (hence the aforementioned rain on my hoodie). he and i laid most of our cards on the table in a tactless, truthful way, but there was a common understanding between us - we're a lot like eachother (like i said previously), and we've been in a lot of the same situations. it's strange that we've never talked like this before, but our heart-to-heart's timing was extremely appropriate, considering i'm marring one of his greatest friends in three (count 'em, three) days. we always knew some of the base about eachother, and we had always heard the stories about eachother, but we'd never bothered to get the stories straight from eachother because we always knew that everything in our lives is blown out of proportion, and it's more fun to hear the rumours sometimes. so, tonight was excellent. the pissed off thing has blown over, jeremy and i talked it out...not a big deal anymore. i made cracks about it and it was funny, and i'm ready to let it go. it doesn't bother me on any level now. typing with fake nails is obnoxious. old, new, borrowed, blue...i'm flipping out. we got the marrage license today. it's official now, it's on paper. it's recorded. it's not solemnized, but it's official. i'm nervous; this is something that's only happening once in my life. i'm not scared, and for the first time in my life i'm not running away from something serious - that's how i know that this is really it. god, i'm growing up. it's neat and nerve-racking and fun and frightening all at the same time, and i may be pulling out my hair and biting my nails but i'm enjoying every minute of it. i think for the first time in my life, i'm truely doing the right thing. where the hell is my mind, by the way? well, i'm getting fitted for my dress at 9:30 tomorrow morning, so it's off to bed for me. but before i go... there are so many people that deserve so much thanks for being...there and helping and calming me down and kicking me in the butt through all of this, and even though i've thanked you all repeatedly i'm going to do it again. all of you deserve it. ready? daddy: i love you, daddy. thank you for teaching me everything you know. it's all come in handy. lexie: you're the best little sister i could ever have. you're growing up a little too fast (god, you're just like me), and if you ever need anything, you call me. my curly-haired one: i love you. if you were a boy, i'd be marrying you, i think. you're the best best friend i could ever ask for, and sometimes i still think that i don't deserve you. kawaii: i love you too. you've been so supportive and so sweet to me, and i'm so glad that we've gotten closer. you've definately earned bridesmaid status, even though you're not in the wedding party. and you're a damn good bartender, too. ^_^ jessimica: i don't talk to you enough. i love you, i really do, and i'm sorry...i keep apologizing instead of fixing, don't i? i'm glad you still love me, even though i'm a tard. the curly one's boy: you're a darling, and i'm so happy for you and my girl. are you kids next in line? *wink wink* thank you for understanding all of this, since you were married once and you know that i'm freaking out. carr: thank you for being my father. you've been in rare form lately. you're always welcome to our couch...lol... the boys: thanks to all of you for being so good to jeremy and me both. i was so nervous when we started seeing eachother, because i didn't know if i could be a "girlfriend". you know what i mean. i'm so glad that boys like all of you exist, even though sometimes you're all retards. the monk, formerly known as the samurai: thank you for understanding as best as you can. you didn't (and still don't) deserve this, as much as you needed (and still do) it. i'll always treasure your friendship, and i'll always be there for you as much as i can. jeremy: i love you with all my heart, and i thank god for you every single day of my life. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. thank you most of all. g'night, my babies. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
