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on death and dying, with aimee mann in the background. current song: wise up by aimee mann. now you know it's bad. it's not what you thought when you first began it you got what you want now you can hardly stand it though by now you know it's not going to stop til you wise up you're sure there's a cure and you have finally found it you think one drink will shrink you til you're underground and living down but it's not going to stop til you wise up prepare a list of what you need before you sign away the deed cause it's not going to stop til you wise up no it's not going to stop til you wise up no it's not going to stop so just give up the first bad: one of my friends is very sick, and it could be a couple of things, but one very serious one in particular. she's just waiting for lab results. i'm really scared for her - i don't want anything bad to happen to her. she's my friend, and she's a wonderful person despite how anyone else thinks. i love her dearly. the second bad: (the world rocking bad) my friend seth hung himself last night. he was found in the morning by his girlfriend. naturally, she's all types of fucked up. but the worst part about it is that i haven't seen him in so long, because i never took the time to drive down and have coffee with him. it's so sudden, and so unlike him, and so... so wrong. we're all still in shock. everybody crawled out of the woodwork to come to myles' tonight and have a beer and talk about seth and how we wished he was there. god, if he only would have realized that he didn't have to do this to get people to drive to see him...if only he would have called. if only we would have called him. the worst part about it all is that no one knows why. of course, there are theories and rumors and bullshit. there was no note. no reason. people had seen him out the day or two before and talked to him and had coffee and he seemed fine. it goes to show that you never can tell, eh? and i'm torn up, i really am. i loved seth, and i loved every moment i wasted in the boy with him drinking coffee and teasing him about looking like kid rock (which he hated, but he's the one who insisted on wearing that dumb hat). i loved the intellectual conversation and the bullshit stories and the poetry we would write back and forth. i especially loved when he dressed like jesus and made some people leave because they were offended, but alan the manager laughed and called him the "patron saint of big boy". woo hoo for cheesy puns. so now, i'm sitting here in the dark, listening to aimee mann, but i'm not crying. i'm upset, and i'm sad. but i'm not going to be sad at his leaving, but happy because of his arrival. glad i met him, and happy i knew him. he's going to be missed, and it's sad that he'll never know how much, and by how many. every person that came tonight would have gladly dropped anything to come see him if he'd have called us last night, but he'll never know that. that's the saddest part. i'll miss you seth, and so will the rest of the world. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
