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a misplaced girl. current song: missed the boat by modest mouse. while we're on the subject could we change the subject now i was knocking on your ears don't worry you were always out looking towards the future we were begging for the past well we knew we had the good things but those never seemed to last oh please just last everyone's unhappy everyone's ashamed well we all just got caught looking at somebody else's page well nothing ever went quite exactly as we planned our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam oh and we carried it all so well as if we got a new position oh and i laugh all the way to hell saying yes this is a fine promotion oh and i laugh all the way to hell of course everyone goes crazy over such and such and such we made ourselves a pillar we just used it as a crutch we were suddenly uncertain at least i'm pretty sure i am well we didn't need the water but we just built that good god damn oh and i know this all myself i stood in front for all the people oh and i know this all myself we listen while life hangs on and the sound of life's sweet bliss was it ever worth it was there all that much to gain well we knew we missed the boat and we'd already missed the plane we didn't read the invite we just dance at our wake all our favorites were playing so we could shake shake shake shake shake tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands a tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks sitting drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them when we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat oh and we carried it all so well as if we got a new position oh and we owned all the tools ourselves but not the skills to make a shelf with oh what useless tools ourselves and to know that they don't see it the way i do...to know that i am in far over my head, and trying to hide it; trying to hide that i have never felt something so beautiful and pure in all my life. why is it that the beauty i see always tainted with enduring sadness? why do i always come up feeling inadequate instead of enjoying what i have? it is as if i am fumbling in the dark, waiting in vain for my eyes to adjust and let me see, but not ever wanting things to truly come in to focus. i don't want to know how wonderful things are. i don't want to wither in comparison to my surroundings. i'm so tired of feeling wrong when i know everything around me is right; constantly out of place, and out of time. is this how misplaced objects feel? as if they know that they're in the wrong place, but powerless in returning themselves to where they belong? where do i belong? where does my life fit in to this? i am weeping, as they sleep in the darkness. and i will pack my things and go, because i should be somewhere else. it's too bad i don't know where. ~*~ immediate yesterday. ~*~ divination. ~*~ get your own guestbook here |
